Style Verses Fashion
Fantasy fuels much of the world of fashion. Fashion editors shape magazines based on creative flights of fancy, freely admitting that what they shoot on runways will rarely be worn and in some cases not even made. These pages are so filled with glamorous photos of "IT" girls, socialites and actresses, that it's no wonder there's such a disconnect between what we see in magazines or on television and what we need to know about dressing ourselves well.
If you admit to fantasies, you admit to living with one foot in this well-imagined world with notions of black-tie soirees bubbling on until dawn, parties borne along on the spume of limitless champagne, of epigrams batted like shuttlecocks across dinner tables.
I am filled with such fantasies. Every time I get on the ferry from Wood's Hole to Martha's Vineyard, in my mind's eye I gaze moodily out-to-sea while leaning on a rail, dragging deeply from a Gauloise; I stride the deck in sensible Ghillies, refusing haughtily offers of a game of deck tennis and searching out the most remote chairs for hot bouillon at 10.
Because I read a lot as a child, I know exactly how to behave on ship (never mind that this is a ferry, not a ship): one never dresses the first night out (this gave rise to some alarming mental pictures to a little girl in Omaha until I understood what dressing for dinner really meant), one joins genially in the Ship's Pool, and one always accepts graciously the invitation to dine at The Captain's Table.
Unfortunately, there is a difference between fantasy and real life. Far from the lush adventures that I inhabit in daydreams, I am much more often confronted with the realities before me: the car salesman who has a round face with a few strands of hair. He wears a suit of brown polyester with white stitching, the lapels a well-documented history of past meals. It's obvious that good advice on style and fashion is not getting through to a lot of people. I see evidence of this every day beyond the extremes of the car salesman: men and women who wear clothes that don't fit properly or that don't suit the shapes of their bodies.
It's important to understand that "fashion" is what the designers say we should be wearing this season. "Style" is something else entirely and has little to do with what is considered fashionable at any point in time. Real personal style has to do with your sense of what works for your body and what does not, regardless of whatever marketing hysteria is surrounding the newest, hottest trends.
It's easy to define real style in terms of fashion icons like Audrey Hepburn or Jackie Onassis; it's more difficult when you try to figure out what your own style is. One of the first fashion lessons one should tackle is learning how to shop for the best shapes and fit for your individual shape. Young designer Sara Barman says, "Simplicity is the basis of good design. Style is not about complication and excess, but about being designed around the individual."
When choosing anything to wear, try to visualize how it will fit, ask yourself if it will flatter your shape and size. Will the fabric drape smoothly, will the color enhance your skin tone?
Think about proportion or how various pieces of an outfit relate to each other. Long over short, short over long: the important thing is to understand proportion in the context of your body proportions and how clothes and accessories have to be in scale and balance with your individual size and shape.
There are things to look for whenever you are choosing clothes, no matter what your shape or size. You want clothing that skims the outline of your shape. The line and fit of your clothes are cornerstones of your personal style. Nothing should be pulling, nor should anything be so oversized that it hides your body's natural outline. It's important to look at yourself from all angles: is anything pulling, gapping, bagging? Stand, sit and walk in place and pay attention to the following potential trouble spots:
- Wherever buttons close
- Across your bust
- Bra lines under your arms and across your back
- Around armholes
- Across sleeves and shoulders
- Across stomach
- Across hips and thighs
- Across bottom and crotch
If any of these areas are too tight or too loose, or if you see deep creasing or large gaps, the line of your outfit will be thrown off. No matter whose name is on the label, bad fit will never help you look good.
As difficult as it can be, I encourage customers to put on underwear and look at themselves straight on in a full-length mirror and analyze their silhouette first. Individual measurements which define fit come second. Coco Chanel said, "Fashion is architecture; it is a matter of proportions." Like architecture, you are looking at your frame. You may loose or gain sizes, but your frame remains the same, and it should guide your fashion choices.
For the Symphony Ball or the country club party, women should wear dresses that range from mid-calf to floor length (men get off easy: a dark suit or a tux fit the bill for most special events). Cocktail dresses are the shorter of the two and range from a few inches above the knee down to the ankle. A gown is floor length. A "Black Tie" invitation means floor length gowns or tuxedoes. Floor-length gowns are appropriate for events described as "premiere," "awards," "gala," "red carpet" or "ball." Otherwise, it's cocktail time. If you are in doubt, ask organizers of the event or friends who have attended in the past what constitutes appropriate dress.
Dresses are often difficult to fit, because few of us have perfectly proportioned bodies. A size 8 dress is made for someone who has a size 8 bust, a size 8 waist and size 8 hips. If your hips are a size 10 and your bust is a size 6, you are going to have a very hard time finding a dress that fits. Because you can buy different sizes in tops and bottoms, separates are a great option for evening as long as they are special enough in fabric and shape to look opulent and dressy. An evening suit or tuxedo can flatter as well as conceal the most outrageous body flaws.
Finally and again, look in the mirror carefully and thoroughly when trying on evening clothes. Too often a woman makes the mistake of trying to fit into a dress that is a size smaller than she normally wears, thinking that it will work as a corset and make her look thinner. As with any foundation garment, when you wear a tightly-cinched dress, the extra chubbiness you're trying to hide has to go somewhere. The excess can bulge over the top of your dress, around your arms and over your back. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. Have a really good look in the mirror from all angles. Dressing for an event is like a performance; you want to be sure that everything is under control and that your evening will be dazzling and without stress.
Which brings me to my last party in Middleburg, it was a costume affaire. As I knew only about three or four out of the group of 50, I went around asking people whom they represented. One little lady about four feet tall and over 80 came in wearing a sequined gown, gold shoes, too much blue eye shadow and a lot of improbably blonde corkscrew curls. I bent solicitously toward her tiny frame and began to pose my question, when it occurred to me mid-sentence that she might look that way for all her parties and was not trying to assume a character. As it turned out, she was trying to portray a mistress of Louis XVI. I couldn't figure out how a 50s cocktail dress figured into this scheme, but fashion, especially French fashion, is in the eye of the creator! This is a woman who clearly has created a style for herself, as I have seen her since at events wearing a similar look.
