West Virginia Women Warriors
“I wish I could say I joined (the Marines) for some deep-seeded sense of duty or patriotism, but that was not the case. The main reason I joined the Marine Corps was for the challenge—I wanted to see if I could do it. The Marine Corps had the reputation of being the ‘elite’ fighting force. They have the reputation of being the toughest and the best. I never seriously considered any other branch (of the military).”
Heather Traves is no stranger to personal challenges. A two-time Iraqi war veteran, she has invested 12 years of her young life into the Marine Corps, putting off having children with her Marine husband to ensure that she had fulfilled her professional obligation to the Corps and her country. Now a reserve officer, she cares for her toddler, Tyler, while awaiting the summer arrival of her daughter.
“Once I started to educate myself on the opportunities available within the military, I realized that I would have access to tremendous opportunities for travel, education and personal growth,” she says of her decision in 1994 to enlist. “The strong sense of patriotism and duty became ingrained in me once I entered boot camp and began to learn of the sacrifices given by so many before me and the honor with which they served.”
A native of Massachusetts, Heather came to West Virginia with her husband, a captain with more than 18 years of service in the Marines, on a transfer. Heather’s goals of being a physical therapist after high school shifted to a life in the military when she realized the opportunities that existed within the Marine Corps. Her stepfather, who was honorably discharged from the Marines, shared his pride of service and connection to the Marines with her, influencing her decision. “I believe it was his stories and pride in service that really caused me to consider the military as a career,” she admits.
At 19 years of age, Heather faced the prospect of boot camp with fear. “I had never been on my own before,” she recalls. “The only thing I knew for sure about what lay ahead was that it was going to be diffi cult. Despite my stepfather’s pride in service, he was adamantly opposed to my joining the service, stating it was not a great choice for a woman. My mother was worried about me and, of course, didn’t want me to move away. All of my friends who joined the military joined the Navy and told me I was crazy to pursue a career in the Marines.”
One of Heather’s greatest challenges came in the form of boot camp. “Basic training in the Marine Corps is some of the hardest, most extensive training among the military services within the United States and continually attracts foreign dignitaries and other service representatives interested in seeing for themselves the training methods, philosophies, tactics, techniques and procedures used to produce results that have become the modern day face for successful military training.” The Marine Corps’ training is not coed but women are separated from men, remaining the only military service that trains in this fashion. Heather explains that training remains gender-segregated and is organized in a manner that provides gender-specific mentors in order to ensure that recruits have role models they can relate to, look up to and with whom they can share a common bond. “The success rate speaks for itself and it promotes equality in training for both women and men. The length and intensity of Marine Corps basic training provided me with the challenge that I was seeking when I enlisted. Completing the training was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, especially at that juncture, and I can look back in reflection with memories of fondness, satisfaction and, most notably, the understanding that I was able to do something that comparatively few before me have accomplished.”
“My husband has always been one of my most ardent supporters, harshest critics and best friends during my military service,” Heather says of the relationship she has with her Marine husband, whom she met while attending The Citadel for a commissioning program. “He’s proud of my accomplishments, my service and the life I have been able to make for myself, as well as the life we have made together. He says he values my independence and mental toughness as one of the single greatest strengths I possess, but it is our ability to know what the other is thinking, feeling and going through that really brings us together. We went to college together, majored in English together, went to Officer Candidate School together, went through The Basic School together and even served a tour in Iraq during the same deployment cycle although on separate bases. My husband and I have experienced more together than most are fortunate to and our foundation has always been our years of friendship that existed long before anything else. I know he is proud of me and my service and I value that immensely.”
Heather says that one of the great aspects of dual service marriage is the ability of both spouses to understand the unique and often demanding requirements associated with military service. “Military life can be very rewarding, but it can also be very stressful, particularly for a couple who is very competitive in nature and wants to not only succeed but excel at what they do. Our work ethics are similar in that we believe in accomplishing the mission and taking care of the Marines under our care regardless of circumstances. That can sometimes result in long hours at work spent increasing our own profi ciency and ensuring that details are not overlooked. That kind of sacrifice and dedication can take a toll on a relationship if both spouses don’t understand the significance and the importance of it all. My husband and I are very much alike and are driven by many of the same desires, so we understand one another and can support each other to that end.”
Heather has completed two seven-month tours in Iraq. During her first tour, she dealt with asset management and during the second tour she performed information analysis. She spent most of the time on a base for both tours, working 12 to 20-hour days, seven days a week. While she didn’t see much of the countryside, what she remembers is that the atmosphere was a focused one. “The service members over there have jobs to do and typically remain intent on performing their jobs to the best of there abilities. Of course everyone deals with the personal issues of homesickness and fatigue, but I personally found these issues to be easier to handle as workloads increased.”
During her 12 years of service, Heather had the opportunity to do many things. Upon graduating from boot camp in 2004, she became a diesel mechanic. Four years later, when her enlistment was complete, she re-enlisted with the incentive of changing jobs to become an imagery analyst in the intelligence field. When training for that position was complete, she applied for and was accepted to a commissioning program, which enabled her to go to college as an active duty Marine at The Citadel. Upon college graduation, Heather was commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant in the Marine Corps in 2002. From there, she attended air intelligence training, which prepared her for two tours in Iraq, during which she worked in asset management and information analysis. She left active duty in August 2006 and currently serves as a captain in the Marine Corps Reserves.
Heather and her husband began talking about starting a family as soon as they got married, but it was important for her to complete at least one tour in Iraq before seriously considering having children. “After my second deployment, my incurred Heather says that one of the great aspects of dual service marriage is the ability of both spouses to understand the unique and often demanding requirements associated with military service. service obligation as a commissioned officer was completed and I made the very difficult decision to separate from active service so I could begin putting the time and energy that I had previously put into the Corps into raising a family. It was very important to me that I upheld the trust and confidence placed in me by the Marine Corps and by the Marines that I served with, and because of my competitive nature and desire to excel at whatever it is I do, I wanted to make sure that I could fulfill my professional obligation and responsibilities first and foremost. Once I was satisfied that I had done enough in service to my country and the Marine Corps, I knew I could look at starting a family without any regrets.”
Heather says that the most important thing that she learned, as a woman, during her military experiences is that gender does not come with inherent capabilities and limitations. “The only limitations inherent in the military for men or women are those which are self-imposed. There will always be service members and civilians alike who believe that women do not belong in the military; however, that is not for them to decide. I quickly learned that competence is the key to gaining acceptance and even approval from the strongest opponents to women in the military.”
Her military service has made her truly appreciate the life that she was blessed with. While serving in the military, there were many opportunities for her to glimpse into the lives of others who were born into less fortunate circumstances. She says that seeing this helped to magnify the advantages that she had in her own life simply because of where she was born. “Service members are also frequently faced with situations in which their own freedoms are restricted and comforts stripped away, such as boot camp, combat deployments and training opportunities. It was during these most challenging of times that I grew the most during my own experiences and gained the greatest appreciation for my health, my family and my freedom.”
“I think it is equally important for both men and women to have active roles in the military,” Heather says of the importance of women playing a role in today’s military. “We are here today with all of the freedoms that we enjoy and so many others can only dream of because the United States is built on a history of men and women who recognized the importance of fi ghting for something so much larger than themselves. It is extremely important that men and women of the military are recognized, if for no other reason than to remind others of the sacrifices that are required to maintain the freedoms that make our country great. For women specifically, I would simply offer this subjective opinion based off of my singular experiences: far too many young women short-change themselves when it comes to their futures and the possibilities that exist, particularly within the military. It is very hard for anyone to leave the comforts of home and the love of family, but doing so can open up an entirely new world and a plethora of opportunities for them if they can simply believe a little more in themselves and be willing to face the fear of the unknown.”
Cpt. Mandy Mullins“I always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, and I still do.”
This admission comes from many miles away—the midst of a war zone, to be precise—in a place where roadside bombs and the inability to call home just to say “I’m safe today” are part of everyday life.
“My biggest heroes growing up were my teachers. I remember my 4th grade teacher, Mr. Dean, was not only a teacher but also a soldier. I remember thinking then, ‘Wow, teachers can do anything.’”
I imagine a pretty woman named Mandy, dressed in camoufl age, sitting at a metal table in a green tent, her sand-stained tan lace-up boots making impressions in the sand beneath her feet, typing these words. I imagine because this interview was conducted via e-mail—Mandy is currently in Northern Iraq, a half a world away.
Cpt. Mandy Mullins is currently deployed to Contingency Operating Base Speicher, the home of the old Iraqi Air Force in Northern Iraq. Even in the middle of the desert war, Mandy nurtures her desire to teach and makes plans for a day when she will return to the mountains of West Virginia to reunite with her family and her young son and to become a teacher.
Mandy grew up in Ansted and Buckhannon, West Virginia, two towns that thrive on patriotism and supporting their troops. “Nearly every church, school and civic organization has poured out support to both myself and others during this deployment,” she explains, her fingers tapping out the memories of a home faraway. “In Ansted, there is an All War Memorial placed in the center of town. What an awesome sight it is to view. To walk around on those bricks and view the many faces of our hometown military service members defi nitely lets you know that this town keeps the focus of God, family and country.”
Mandy, in my mind’s eye, is reminiscent, a thoughtful sobriety replacing the usual light-hearted smile as she reads my e-mail questions from her Yahoo! account on an unreliable Internet connection and opens up her life—and her heart—to me. “My mom became a soldier when I was in the 6th grade,” she remembers. “I can tell you that there was no greater moment than for me and my brother to know that she went through such diffi cult training for us. We knew that she did that for us, and we are still proud of her to this day. Because of her efforts, we have better opportunities in life. I have a mother that not only led the way for me, but she still stops and teaches me things about myself and how to be an effective leader.”
Mandy joined the West Virginia Army National Guard in the fall of 1994 after losing her academic scholarship. “I was defi nitely scared before leaving for basic training,” she admits. “My mother had a heart-to-heart talk with me and I remember her saying before I left, ‘Now, Amanda, this is not going to be an easy path. There are many sacrifices that come with wearing the uniform.’ (Being in) the Army showed me that I had to be responsible for my actions, that no one was going to bail me out but me and that I had to be responsible for myself.”
Mandy chose to join the Army National Guard because it gave her the opportunity to fi nish college. “Major General Allen E. Tackett, at the time of my enlistment, pioneered the 100 percent paid college tuition plan, and I was one of the first soldiers to capitalize on that benefit. Since then, I have helped recruit a lot of my college friends into the Guard.”
When she reads the question that asks how it is different for a woman to be a soldier as compared to a man, I picture her leaning back in her chair slightly, her fi ngers pausing over the laptop keyboard, considering the obstacles women face in a “man’s world.” “There was no preferential treatment,” she slowly begins to type, her memories of basic training and her experiences with the Guard translating from the recesses of her memory to her fingertips. “I had a male Drill Sergeant and a female Drill Sergeant, and they expected the same from each soldier. If anything, as female soldiers, we always felt as if we needed to run the extra mile, train harder, be faster to let our male counter-parts know that we were prepared for equal treatment. Let’s just say, no mercy was given to us because we went to different bathrooms.”
“I am a captain and an engineer,” she says, adding that she should be receiving a promotion soon. “When I decided to become an officer, my mom had another heart-to-heart talk with me. ‘Now Amanda, you do realize that when you decide to do this, you are going to be responsible for others…not just yourself…you are going to be taking care of others.’ She was always quick to remind me that I was not put in roles of responsibility to make friends or win a popularity contest. ‘You are there to take care of others; you are not there to be liked. Soldiers don’t need another friend; they need a leader—a leader that cares and a leader that lets them do their job and gets them what they need.’”
Mandy left behind her eight-year-old son, Spencer, when she was deployed to Northern Iraq. “He is one of my biggest fans and supporters,” she writes, and her pride for her young son is evident. She goes on to explain that the small family had lived in Buckhannon but were forced to move abruptly in order to accommodate her current deployment. “Spencer was unable to say good-bye to his teachers and friends…he is such a trooper. I constantly stop and tell him how much I appreciate him and thank him for sharing me with others because his job is just as important as mine.” She specifically points out the fact that children serve too—just as much as their parents, though in different ways. In fact, as she writes to me in April it is Children Serve Too Appreciation Month.
“I have had the opportunity to meet several Iraqis here during my deployment,” she says, changing gears and moving on to a topic that makes her smile and takes her mind off of the family far away back home. “They have opened my eyes to a world of information. They are extremely generous and respectful, and they are so great to be around…I can be having a bum day and they will come around and I light up like there is no tomorrow. We barely speak the same language and we have had so many ‘funny mishaps,’ but a smile goes a long way when you are trying to communicate with a different language.”
Mandy’s patriotism—her purpose, her drive, her deep commitment—can be summed up in one entry from her e-mail: “Whether you are an elementary school student, a Girl Scout, a troop leader, a Sunday school teacher, a bus driver, a fire fighter, a daycare provider, someone struggling through college or a single mom keeping all of her glass balls juggling in the air, we all have a part in this country and we all share that American Flag—the most expensive cloth in the world. I heard someone once say that the flag is bound by the lives that fought and died for their country. We all represent that flag. We give honor to those fallen comrades, their families, our families and those that we serve each day through our service. For me, that service has been in the military, but all of our jobs are important and we all have to do our part. We are Americans and West Virginians. That is what sets us apart from others. West Virginians help West Virginians. I am extremely proud to be from West Virginia! We take care of each other. We should all keep that philosophy of ‘What can I do for the person in front of me, what can I do for the person beside me—what can I do to make their day better?’”
“I think that teaching is still in my cards,” she reveals. “Now that I’m in the Army, with every opportunity to teach and learn that I see, I raise my hand. I think that there is no greater way to let your soldiers know that you care about them than to stop and learn from them or teach them something either mission related or about yourself. There are so many opportunities wearing this uniform to learn from one another.”
Mandy, sitting in the middle of a war, closes her e-mail with warm wishes from Northern Iraq. She has been unable to call home in a few days; if I don’t mind, could I tell her mom that she’s okay and in a safe place? I reflect on her mission statement of sorts as a patriot—on the part that affects me: “We all represent that flag…we all have to do our part.” From the safety of my home, in the “land of the free and the home of the brave,” I’ll share her story. I’ll write her story because it is hers and yet it belongs to so many. And I will call her mom and tell her that her daughter, Spencer’s mom, is safe.
